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The Lost Articles Of
THE GREAT HAMMOCK BRIGADE
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You’re probably scratching your head and wondering, “What the hell is this Great Hammock Brigade nonsense?” Well, I can’t tell you what an actual hammock brigade is, and what constitutes its greatness. However, I can tell you that a bunch of semi-motivated, quasi-intelligent (we like to think) individuals finally decided to unify some of their (pseudo) interesting writings. Actually we never really unified those writings…well, Sean did on a poster.
Maybe I should be clearer.
My friends and I thought we had entertaining writing styles, and could slap together a newspaper that would usurp our school’s newspaper, Downingtown East’s Off the Record! (Affectionately referred to as OTR!). My friends (Sean, Evan and Tyler) and I collaborated for roughly two weeks prior to the new school year. We ultimately determined that we were disturbed enough to spew out funny and intriguing articles, but it was our problem with logistics that led to our downfall. By logistics, I mean we were just fucking lazy.
With a mock Gmail account filled with numerous articles on existence, the Kool-Aid Man, and our thoughts on OTR!, I just couldn’t pass up the chance to infest the Waffle Squadron with our disease. Enjoy.
By the way, Tyler drew the Holiday card, and did some writing for the newspaper. Sean, or Ouster as he likes to refer to himself as, wrote the articles on religion and the Kool-Aid man. I wrote the one entitled ‘Smile’. It wasn’t designed to come off as anti-feminist, just, you have to know about OTR!. Oh, and Evan? He’s just a lazy fucker (yes, even more lazy than the rest of the guys). He ‘outlined’ an article on Intelligent Design. Sean, Tyler and myself still eagerly await him to actually write it.
So, without further adieu, The Great Hammock Brigade.
- D@n
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